Category Archives: Amish Grandma Goes to College

Double Majoring in English and Clambering

Who knew that a degree in clambering would piggyback a degree in English? And that there would be no tuition charged for it? I certainly did not.

If you are wondering precisely what clambering is, think of what happens when you show up late at a huge auditorium with fixed, assigned seating and an usher tells you that your ticket is for a seat that requires a helicopter to reach. But since that isn’t an option, you are forced to either forego the event or clamber over legs, knees, laps, bags, and armrests causing a whole row of people to become involuntary butt-kissers as you turn your backside to them Continue reading Double Majoring in English and Clambering


Overrun by Techno-gizmos

A white walking cane had been an extension of my hand for six years before I became a college student. In those six years I had experienced interesting and varied reactions. They ranged from a muttered “what the heck is she doing in a place like this by herself?” (I was in a mall) to a woman asking my husband if he thought I would mind if she offered her assistance in a public restroom along an interstate highway. My favorite reaction was the simple, curious Continue reading Overrun by Techno-gizmos


Power Surges

“I wonder why they’re wasting so much heat in a stairwell,” I muttered as I rounded the first-floor landing. I paused, tucked my cane under my arm, pulled off my gloves, and unzipped my coat before continuing the climb.

Okay, I guess the coat will need to come completely off, I thought as I rounded the second-floor landing. So I propped the cane between my legs, shrugged off the heavy backpack, dropped it to the floor, and took off my coat. Hoisting the backpack into place again and draping the coat over my arm I continued huffing up to Room 320 hoping I wouldn’t be soaked in sweat by the time I got there.

It’s strange that I only get these power surges in this one stairwell Continue reading Power Surges


Quick, Get In!

I stood in what seemed like a hurricane-force rain storm peering into sheets of water that made my limited vision even blurrier. “Yeah, that surely is the white minivan,” I thought as I gripped my umbrella even tighter, struggling to keep it from turning itself inside out and in place over me and my big backpack. “Come on, come on, what are you waiting for?” I mumbled.

The shape wasn’t changing so I knew it wasn’t moving. Was the person in the traffic kiosk giving my daughter a rough time? Or wasn’t it actually the vehicle I was waiting for? It certainly wasn’t the kind of day for a friendly chat so what was taking so long?

After what seemed like hours, the white minivan moved toward me, then quickly turned the corner, and stopped. I opened the side door to toss in the dripping umbrella and heard my daughter’s panicked voice yelling, “Quick, Mom, GET IN!” Continue reading Quick, Get In!